A Dar Williams Moment
There is a fantastic singer named Dar Williams who sings a song called "When I was a Boy" and it talks about how when she was little (when she was a boy - no this is not about gender re-assignment surgury its about how girls can do more things than women can) she could do wild things like go without a shirt and climb trees and now that she is a woman she has to have people walk her home because the world isn't safe. She tells all of this to a man who responds by saying:
Oh no, oh, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I, we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too
And you were just like me, and I was just like you
Today on the 20 minute walk back from the co-op (for those of you who haven't seen how close we live to the co-op - it basically took Eliot, Naomi, me, a bag of groceries and Eliot's baby doll 20 minutes to walk across Donald Trump's office) I pointed out some crocuses. Eliot stopped and bent over to smell them. When bending over (for those of you who haven't seen how he bends over to see things and puts his hands on his knees I'll try to get it on the camera - its priceless) he got down on his hands and knees to sniff them. He of course got a bunch of really good mulch on his hand and had to stand up to ask me to get it off his hand (which he eventually did on his own) and then he got down on his hands and knees again to sniff them. It was such a 'When I was a Girl' moment I teared up right there on the street.
Even tho I dress Naomi up in unnecessary shirts I want for her so badly to enjoy life with reckless abandon as a girl and a woman. I want her to be able to feel safe in the world and safe in her skin and sure of herself and her abilities. And I want Eliot to be able to grow up and and still be the sweet thoughtful person who wrapped his baby in a blanket to go to the grocery store today - without being shamed for being whatever is wrong about that.
I guess its kind of funny. "When I Was a Boy' is one of my favorite songs and I hope they grow up and don't tear up from it. I hope when I play it for them and say something like - oh this song is so great you'll just love it - that they look at me kind of blankly and explain openly and with confidence why it doesn't ring a bell for them.
Oh no, oh, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I, we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too
And you were just like me, and I was just like you
Today on the 20 minute walk back from the co-op (for those of you who haven't seen how close we live to the co-op - it basically took Eliot, Naomi, me, a bag of groceries and Eliot's baby doll 20 minutes to walk across Donald Trump's office) I pointed out some crocuses. Eliot stopped and bent over to smell them. When bending over (for those of you who haven't seen how he bends over to see things and puts his hands on his knees I'll try to get it on the camera - its priceless) he got down on his hands and knees to sniff them. He of course got a bunch of really good mulch on his hand and had to stand up to ask me to get it off his hand (which he eventually did on his own) and then he got down on his hands and knees again to sniff them. It was such a 'When I was a Girl' moment I teared up right there on the street.
Even tho I dress Naomi up in unnecessary shirts I want for her so badly to enjoy life with reckless abandon as a girl and a woman. I want her to be able to feel safe in the world and safe in her skin and sure of herself and her abilities. And I want Eliot to be able to grow up and and still be the sweet thoughtful person who wrapped his baby in a blanket to go to the grocery store today - without being shamed for being whatever is wrong about that.
I guess its kind of funny. "When I Was a Boy' is one of my favorite songs and I hope they grow up and don't tear up from it. I hope when I play it for them and say something like - oh this song is so great you'll just love it - that they look at me kind of blankly and explain openly and with confidence why it doesn't ring a bell for them.
posted by Sara at 8:12 PM
3 Comments:
I just LOVE Dar Williams ... thanks for reminding me to go dig her CD out of the pile in the study! (PS - Love the tent!)
That's one my favorite songs, too, because we have all been there and to recognize and understand that time of life is a good thing. We do growup but hopefully we never let go of those special moments that make us who we are as adults. Naomi and Eliot are already building those wonderful moments that will stay with them their whole lives. Good job Sara and Aron!
that is really touching.
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