Merry Christmas

I can't believe I have the honor of raising these two children.

Naomi is so engaged with this world I swear she could cause a lightening storm. She is a strong, strong kid in a big way. She is pushy and adorable and hard core. I have to admit I've missed her this week. She says this wonderful word 'go goo le go goo le go goo ly.' I haven't heard it in days. I don't remember the last time I heard it. I miss it. I miss watching her open the diaper pail and dropping the lid and laughing. And then doing it again. And again. And again. And again. Its funny every time. Well, funny to her. I miss picking her up out of her bed twice a day after her naps. I miss watching her little moves toward walking. I've seen a few this week. Not a lot. I miss seeing her play with her brother. They were doing a lot of chasing around the house the past two weeks in those hours after dinner and before bed.

Eliot is so huge. He is connected, as we all are -- I'm convinced, to the whole entire universe. He just makes it obvious. He is so brave. So incredibly brave. He knows how to trust and how to learn and how to respond to change. I got to listen to him breathe in his sleep the other night and remembered the night we were in the hospital waiting for him to be born and listened to his heart beat on the monitor all night long. I said to a friend in an email that I love the sounds of life living.

My heart broke open and got bigger than I ever thought it could when my kids came into this world. Now its broken in a million beating pieces more raw and more alive than I knew possible.

Thank you thank you thank you God for the good news of every good chance Eliot will be cured of this before kindergarten. Thank you God for the good news that we don't need to worry about this for Naomi - leukemia of this type doesn't tend to be genetic. Thank you God for all of the incredible support near by and all over the world.

Thank you God for these kids. These people. These wise and strong and huge people of wisdom, grace, grossness and hilarity.