If A Mom Snaps in an Empty Room Does She Still Make a Sound?

I snapped this morning. I wasn't actually in an empty room. I was in a room with Eliot and my mom. Eliot was telling me he wanted to put his shoes on. He was telling me that over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again with a whine. Puuuuut shoooooeeez ooooooooooooooon.

I snapped.

Not in a horrible way. I didn't say, Yes Eliot I will put your shoes on you I'm over here getting ready to do that and I will put them on you just like I do everything you ask me to do. I didn't scream at him or even yell. I raised my voice. I didn't say anything like, 'give me a fucking break child I'm getting to it.'

I said in a raised voice, not a yell, not a scream, 'Eliot I hear you. I am getting your shoes. I will put your shoes on you.' Well I guess that isn't an exact quote. I don't remember exactly what I said. All I know is that I said it in an impatient and I'mveryannoyed tone of voice.

They warned us that the steriods would turn our precious child into a teenager. Holy cow. Now I see why the legal driving age is 16. Parents want their children to go out and stay out for a while. Come on parents of teenagers out there - isn't part of you releived when they come home a little late?

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Okay. I bet I'm going to pay for that comment in about 14 years. Eliot is going to use that one against me someday when he comes home late. So here is a message to you Eliot from the past.

Staying out after your curfew might give me a little joy if I'm feeling annoyed at you at the time. It will also scare the crap out of me. I will assume something bad has happened to you. By the time you're 16 I will have had a lifetimes worth of fearing for your life. I will not find it funny.

If you're late call me. If you're doing something illegal do it because you want to be doing it not because you're following other people's lead. And for goodness sakes think about why its illegal. There might be a good reason for it. Drive sober. Always. Ride in cars with sober drivers always. Wear a condom or for goodness sakes keep your body parts in your pants. Be gentle with yourself and whoever you're kissing and doing other things with.

And for the record just because you're annoying me (and right now you are annoying - instead of napping you're laying in your bed saying 'maaaaaaah maahhhhhhh' every 6 seconds) and just because I'm saying you're annoying doesn't mean anything more than that. Thats all it means. You're doing something and I'm getting annoyed. Be your annoying ass self. Let your freak flag fly. Cry. Laugh. Go ahead and fart in public from time to time. Wear socks that don't match. Say the wrong thing. You know this now. I hope you still know it when you're 16. None of that stupid crap manners. Be good to yourself. Be good to your soul. Be patient with you. Be kind. Give yourself room. Moderation is a good thing - in moderation. And most of all - remember that unsolicited free advice (kind of like this long speach) is probably more for the person giving it in the long run - wise and sage and truly amazing as I, I mean it may be.