dreams

I've been putting off writing this one for a while.

It is so sad and encouraging to me that I've wanted to write it. Somehow writing it makes it really real too...so I haven't done it. Until now.

I really wanted to do it right away so I'd have the exact date that it happened. But I didn't do that. So now I have lost the date. Such is life.

On many mornings we ask the kids if they had dreams the night before. They often say yes and when we ask them what they were about they look around the room and clearly make up dreams based on what they see.

For example we might ask Naomi what she drempt and she'll look at the floor and see a toy truck and one ballerina slipper and say, "I had a dream about a truck and a ballerina slipper." Super creative like that.

Recently. Maybe 2 weeks ago Eliot offered up his dream from the night before. He wasn't provoked. No one asked him. I was even writing something on the computer I think when he casually said he'd had a dream that night before.

Here is how he explained it:

Mama. I had a dream last night that I was trying to take my medicine and the pills were falling all over the floor and I couldn't get all of them. Then you came in with a glass of water and I could get all of them and take them.

That is all. That was it. He shared it. No strong emotion one way or another. He seemed glad or maybe relieved that I showed up with the water and he could take the pills.

It broke my heart a little bit though. He is having dreams about pills. Anxiety dreams (at least that is how I hear it).

Lately he is taking an antibiotic for a cough he had for several weeks.

Every Thursday he has had to take 19 pills.

On every other day it is somewhere between 11 and 13. Every day for 3 weeks.

On other days he takes either 3 or 4 or 11 pills.

And he dreams about it.

My 4 year old dreams about taking chemotherapy.

Sigh.

Blueberries

The kids love blueberries. Naomi particularly loves blueberries. On several occassions she has eaten so many blueberries that her poo smells like blueberries and is such a deep shade of purple that it looks black. Until we wipe her bottom and realize she has literally pooped a gigantic blueberry. But I digress...

The other day they were eating blueberries and Naomi asked if they ate 'so many' blueberries if they would turn into blueberries.

I said I thought they might do that.

Then she asked if they ate 'so many' babies if they would turn into babies.

Before I could answer she pretended to grab babies out of thin air and eat them up. Each baby in 1 gulp.

Then she said, "I'm a baby" and make the most fakey baby cries ever.

Then she enrolled Eliot into her game. They ate babies, turned into babies and cried like babies.

As some writer I once heard interviewed once said....kids are insane...if you really listen to them...they are insane.

1 2

Last night in the car on the way home from a Memorial Day party I witnessed the following conversation:

Eliot: Mama. How many legs does an inch worm have (Eliot was holding an inch worm that he found at the party).

Me: I'm not sure Eliot, will you count and find out. I'd really like to know (and I did really want to know).

Aron: Eliot, how many legs do you have?

Eliot: (at the top of his lungs) 2!!!!

Naomi: (counting her legs) 1. 2. Legs. 1.2. Arms. 1.2. Eyes. 1.2. Ears. 1. 2. Ginas.

Huh?

Relationships

I got to pick the kids up from day care today and when I got there a girl named Johnetta told me Eliot isn't always her friend and he is always Isadora's friend. She was clearly mad about the whole deal.

When Eliot came over to hug me and say hi (so rewarding!) she talked to him about it. Again, clearly upset.

"I'm not your friend Eliot!"

I tried to engage him in the conversation.

Which is ridiculous because I'm horrible at refereeing, particularly when I wasn't there and especially when I don't know how they do these things at school.

A teacher came over and she talked with Johnetta and told her to be nice and I told the teacher that it sounded like maybe Eliot wasn't very nice earlier.

That was it.

At dinner thought I decided to ask Eliot about it.

It turns out that Johnetta wants to talk to Eliot all the time, even when he wants to be alone. Today is day 4 of sterroids so I'm not surprised that Eliot wanted to be left alone (and oh how it breaks my heart that we send him to school on day 4 of sterroids and oh how it makes me glad we're not sending him to kindergarten when he is on sterroids....but I digress).

Eliot said Johnetta won't leave him alone until he says he isn't her friend.

So we discussed it.

I told Eliot that I wondered t if next time he might tell Johnetta that he wants to be her friend and wants to have some time alone. That way she would know that he still likes her and be able to leave him alone.

For the first time ever he seemed open to my wondering (read: barely disguised motherly advice).

He said he thought it would work.

He is rarely open to chatting about his day at school so this was an awesome moment.

They he opened up. He said she always wants to talk to him and be around him.

I asked him if there was anyone he always wanted to talk to and be around.

He said no. I said I thought Johnetta probably really likes him and that I know he really likes Sawyer and always wants to be around him and talk to him.

Eliot got a surprised look on his face and then said he didn't want to talk about this anymore.

Then he laid on the floor.

After a few moments of quiet he asked, "Mama, do you have anyone you always like to talk to and be around?"

The conversation went on. I told him there were people I like to be around and work and the kids asked a million questions about them, including what they wear.

It was a big moment.

Talking about how to navigate the world.

Honestly.

Goodness. I hope it was helpful to Eliot.

He did say he might try my idea with Johnetta.

I want so badly for the kids to learn things to help them take care of themselves and be honest.

Those conversations...and seeing me do things like that for myself seem like the ways they learn.

This post is getting boring.

I don't care.

This was a big thing for me. I wish I had the conversation and how it felt on video.

I think I'll engrave it in my heart.

This and so many other moments. One time when Eliot laid his head on my shoulder when he was about 18 months old. And so many others...

I'm Doing Magic

Naomi found a pink toothbrush (in its originally packaging) in a drawer the other day and HAD to have it.

I took it out of its container and she carried it around for the rest of the day. Oh so happy she was to have a brand new PINK toothbrush.

At some point in the day she was waving it around and she said, "I'm doing spells."

"Ooooh you're doing magic, Naomi?" I said.

"I'm doing magic on the sky," she said.

"What are you turning it into?" I asked.

"Pink."