My Life As a Rodent So Far

Until last night I've been one of those 'neglectful' mothers who chooses private time with her husband over the supposed necessary bonding time of a child under the age of three. Until last night I was a mom who 'harmed' her children by insisting that they sleep and sleep on their own.

Last night marked what I assume will be a very brief foray into a world where I actually love my kids and stop neglecting and hurting them.

I slept in the same bed as Eliot last night.

At his bed time he asked to sleep in daddy's bed (interesting that he considers it Daddy's bed - I don't think he has ever actually seen me sleeping in it).

I decided to let him.

I figured we'd wake him up at 9 to give him his medicine and move him into his bed.

When 9 turned into 10pm and then 10:30 Aron and I went upstairs to give him his medicine and Aron pointed out that we could just let Eliot sleep in the bed and see what happens.

So I climbed into bed with Eliot.

He ended up falling out of bed twice before 2:00 am.

So much for the end of the harm and neglect.

Then at 2:15 am when he was done crying about falling out of bed he wanted to eat food. So we came downstairs and ate food.

Then when we were done with that he wanted to keep the light on in the room.

So got him a pile of books and he sat in our bed and read books while I tried to snooze.

Last night marked night 5 of 5 nights of steroids for him and I think he was just too wired to sleep.

I think he was awake for at least 2 hours, maybe more.

Which means I was awake for at least 2 hours, maybe more.

I don't have a tail. I don't have a taste for garbage or making a nest out of couch filling. I can't climb through a hole smaller than the width of a pencil. I have no desire to have hundreds of babies in my life.

The part of day that I like is when the sun is shining.

I am not a night person.

I'm a day person. I'm a morning person. I'm a get 8 hours of sleep person.

I'm done with my life as a rodent.

Done. Done. Done. Done.

Done.

Naomi Ruth

I'm starting to realize lately why Naomi has been so hard to talk about on this blog.

Part of it is that she is indescribable.

Certainly talking about her propensity to stick her hand in anything gross and spread it on everything white within a 20 mile radius is fun to talk about and easy enough to imagine.

Its the spirit with which she does such incredibly gross things that is hard to put into words.

I'm also realizing its her age.

She is just getting to the age Eliot was when I started this blog some time ago. And now she does ever more describe-ably silly things. She is starting to talk. She is running. She is engaging people in her own Naomi-esque way.

I'm rude to think it and much more rude to say it - kids just get more fun after 18 months of age in my opinion and I'd forgotten that until the last few weeks.

And now our little angel is upstairs crying for me instead of sleeping (in her brother's bed - her brother who insisted on sleeping in 'Daddy's bed') so I must be off to tend to her little person-hood that is so much bigger than little.

Eliot Making Cupcakes

Eliot found the left over paper cup cake cups in the drawer this morning.

He said he wanted to make cup cakes and when I told him we need to get ready for church instead of making cup cakes he decided to make pretend cup cakes.

I set him up at the dining room table with a mixing bowl and one of his birthday mixing spoons from his Auntie Nancy and a cup cake pan.

He sat at the dining room mixing and told me he put butter in the cup cakes. Mmmmm. Butter. Doesn't that sound wonderful.

Then he put the cup cake paper cups into the pan and put his oven mit from his Auntie Nancy from his birthday on and put the cup cakes into the oven.

He set a timer so he'd know they'd be done and then sat down at the couch with Naomi watching the dreaded Wiggles.

Several minutes later when I thought he'd forgotten about his cup cakes I went over to get some things out of the refrigerator and Eliot yelled in to me.

What Mama doing?

No touch oven Mama.

Eliot making cup cakes Mama.

Holy cow. We've finally arrived at pretend play. Blessed, wonderful pretend play.

Anatomy

Not even an hour ago I went upstairs to get the kids after their nap.

Before I got them out of their beds I went into the bathroom to get some feminine hygiene products.

Eliot asked me what I was doing in there and before I could answer he saw what I had in my hand and said, "Mama have that on her butt?" or maybe he said, "Mama have that on her butt."

I'm not sure what his intended punctuation was.

The questions just keep getting better and better.

And Then There Were 3

Eliot's 3rd birthday was yesterday. We had a wonderful day together.

Aron and I gave Eliot King, Doc and McQueen race cars, he peed in the potty after having a dry diaper all night long, we went out for breakfast and took a leisurely walk home, we played, we played, we played.

I got a ton of presents for Eliot's birthday too.

The kids played on their own long enough yesterday for me to read almost an entire chapter in my book.

Eliot learned how to open the refrigerator.

And Aron and I went shopping for new clothes for me on our date night.

I get to burn my nursing bras!!!!

Our little boy is 3. He got to turn 3. And he'll get to turn 4 and 5 and 15 and 30 and 45 and 60 and 75 and who knows he may very well turn 95 in 2099.

Friends

The kids spent most of the day at Gramma and Grampa's house (aka Vicki and Mike, Aron's parents) because I made a same-day appointment at the doctor's office. To make a long story short my leg has been hurting and I wanted to get it checked out and it appears to be fine-ish and I have to take 2 weeks off.

While driving home Eliot asked Naomi if she would hold his hand. They sat in the back seat, tied into their car seats and held hands.

I turned the rear view mirror so I could see their sweet little hands together and of course had a little mommy cry over it.

The day Naomi was born Eliot was exactly as old as Naomi is today.

Yesterday Naomi was the age that Eliot was the last time I spent a day with him when he didn't have a baby sister.

I've watched Naomi closely these past two days. She is so verbal and so energetic and so curious and so independent. And as fiercely all of those things that she is she also fiercely dependant on me and close to me and reliant on me.

Eliot was a very different 18 month old. He was quieter and more pliant (is that a word). He also pretty much probably felt awful and so was really not reaching out or moving far from me.

When I think back on what my life was 18 months ago tomorrow (when Naomi will turn 18 months old) I really understand why everyday I'm hovering just barely above burn out.

18 months old is intense. Its fun. Its wild. Its all about running wild and climbing on the dining room table and an hour later clinging to mom and not wanting anyone else to touch you.

I'm so glad I didn't have a c-section today.

I'm so glad the next 6 weeks of my life aren't going to about telling an 18 month old kid that mommy just had a c-section she really shouldn't lift you up....oh well....who cares I guess I'll lift you up anyway.

18 months ago I was so sad that Eliot was loosing his perfect little life in which he got all of our attention. I was worried about our baby who didn't have a name yet at that point because he - I figured Naomi would be a boy - wasn't going to get our full attention.

Now I can't imagine either of their lives without the other. And I don't have to imagine that.

And that makes me cry.

Eric Very Fun

A lot of things tell me lately that we've made it. They tell me Eliot is doing exceptionally well and we've made it through that tunnel called the first six months of treatment.

Today Eliot's God Father Eric came to visit and it was great to see him. We haven't seen him or his wife since Christmas time when they visited Eliot, Aron and I in the hospital.

Eliot and Naomi and Eric had a great time playing today. Eliot relaxed and played and had a goofy time.

Not long after he left tonight Eliot was sitting at the table and out of nowhere, completely without prompting Eliot said, 'Eric very fun.'

That is a first. He doesn't comment on his days typically without some prompting.

Our boy is here. Bigger and larger than ever before.

The Magical Powers of Fruit Flies

I'm sitting here minding my own business trying to understand our next few weeks and figure out how to pull it off.

10 minutes ago or so a fruit fly - and by 'a fruit fly' I mean 1 fruit fly, just one, count them - 1 fruit fly started flying around my head.

I let it flit and float around for a while then got annoyed and smashed it.

About a millisecond later there were a few fruit flies floating around my head.

Not 5 and more than 2. Just a few.

I let them float around a while too. They don't make noise and don't bite and they are tiny. I wasn't annoyed. Really.

Then I was annoyed. So I smashed 'em.

With big, loud swats and claps.

Instantaneously there were almost 10 of the little fuckers flying around.

I've spent the last 6 weeks or so re-reading all of the Harry Potter books in preparation for the very exciting 7th installment and I've got to say I'm convinced these things multiply when you kill them.

You kill one, you get 3ish, you kill 3 you get 8, you kill 8 you get 18.

I'm sitting here. And this is only slightly exaggerated for the fun of it, looking like Linus.

I have a cloud of fruit flies hanging around my head.

Just floating and bobbing in their fruity little, magical way.

Sigh and Important News

I've been having a hard time posting.

There has been a lot happening.

I just haven't been able to get myself here to write.

We made it to maintenance. One week later than expected. The day we were supposed to begin we weren't able to and so we waited an extra week.

Last Thursday we made it.

Eliot will still get daily chemo until March of 2010 and he'll have monthly visits to the clinic for chemo and a spinal tap every 3 months and 5 days of steroids each month.

His hair is growing back tho and we can go back to church.

So we made it to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sigh.

We made it. We actually made it.